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Ahalya: I’ve had many discussions with my family about this.
There are definitely some cultural backgrounds they are more comfortable with and others they view as “too different” from their own, which gets conflated with racial differences as well.
The Chinese also care a lot about “keeping face,” the rough equivalent of “manners” in American culture.
Things like giving compliments, offering to pay and showing respect to elders carry so much more weight to my parents than to my boyfriend’s parents.
On two occasions, women who really liked him didn’t ultimately get into a relationship with him because their Lutheran parents and grandparents would have disapproved.
Jia Jia: My sense is that white parents probably distinguish more on value systems and less on race, while Asian parents generally conflate status with race– i.e.
Europeans/ whites have higher status while everyone else/ non-whites have lower status.
Buffy: In terms of the white English middle-classes, yes, Alice, I think that racism is often masked by classism but not necessarily economics.
I think that the upper-middle English-speaking classes are extremely skilled in hiding and being in denial about their deep racism because they prioritize class above anything else.